A Proverbs 31 Mama

Connection Fellowship
May 10, 2009
10:00 a.m.
A Proverbs 31 Mama
Proverbs 31:1-31
Introduction
A recent study revealed that if moms were paid by the hour, the average annual salary would exceed $131,000. Just when I think that I get my arms around all that my wife does…and begin to get a little confident in stupid ideas like, “It’s not that tough,” I generally experience some unique revelation that reminds me why dads are not moms.
Recently, I learned a great truth from God’s Word while working with single or widowed moms and dads. Here it is: No matter what anyone ways, there’s no way to be both ‘mom and dad’…and God doesn’t expect you to try. Just be the best you can be, and leave the rest to God.
Just for the record, I think my wife is the best wife and mom on the planet. My only regret so far is that I don’t tell it to her enough by the words that I say and the way that I treat her. A wise man told me that there are two things that your wife needs. #1 – She is the most important person on the planet to you. And #2 – She is the most important person on the planet to you. For those of us who fail at multi-tasking, just try to get #1 right.
If you are of the male species, let me encourage you to not shut your hearing off right now. If you are single…let me exhort you to listen and begin to develop a picture of God’s ideal wife for you. If you are married, let me beg you to listen so that you can encourage (not criticize) your wife as she strives to be a Proverbs 31 Mama. If you are a child, let me encourage you to listen and learn to appreciate the godly qualities that your mom has.
Although I believe my wife is the hottest babe and the most incredible woman on the planet, there has been another woman (not Miss America) that…for 3,000 years… has been the frustration to every woman who strives for God’s ideal. And that is the Proverbs 31 Mama. Lest you think I believe myself adequate to explain that ideal to you, I will join the writer of Proverbs 31, King Lemuel, by not interjecting many words. But, as verse 1 tells us, he shares the insight and wisdom of his own mother for us.
Understanding
1 The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him: 2 What, O my son? And what, O son of my womb? And what, O son of my vows? 3 Do not give your strength to women, Or your ways to that which destroys kings. 4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, It is not for kings to drink wine, Or for rulers to desire strong drink, 5 For they will drink and forget what is decreed, And pervert the rights of all the afflicted. 6Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to him whose life is bitter. 7 Let him drink and forget his poverty and remember his trouble no more. 8 Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all the unfortunate.
9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, And defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.

Verse two (2) tells us that Lemuel was a mama’s boy, but also that she had made a vow to dedicate him to God. But this vow took action. She takes time to invest in teaching her son. She does not just teach him negative lists of don’ts, but also the positives…the do’s. She taught him not to give himself to chasing women or to lose his sense of judgment through drinking.
She also taught him also to plead the case of the unfortunate and the helpless. The Bible tells the church that this is one of our functions as well. One reason we do not see more people helping others is because they were not taught…by word or by example. But look at his mother’s example -v.10.

10 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
This is not saying that this is impossible, but rare…more rare than the jewelry you got for Mother’s Day.

11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
She is submissive, supportive, and never subverts his endeavors. She understands as her husband prospers, so does the family does, and proves it.

13 She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. 14 She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. 15 She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household And portions to her maidens.
This mama works hard. She seeks out the best for her family. She sacrifices, not just for her family, but also for those who invest in her family. Sure, she is wealthy. But in our context, there are those who invest in our family, like teachers. [Illustration – Teacher appreciation / volunteering]

16 She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard.
This is not a woman who is afraid to get the oil changed because some guy might talk her into $1,000 of repairs. She can deal in business.

17 She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. 18 She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night.
She takes care of herself, physically. Not a weakling, but strong. And she has confidence in herself. Let me tell you this, mama who is a bit insecure in your physical appearance. Your husband realizes that he out married himself. He can’t believe that you love him and that you would wake up next to him each morning. He does, however, like it when you exude a bit of confidence in who God made you to be.
As was reported on James Dobson’s broadcast a few weeks ago, he is not attracted so much by the beauty of that blonde on TV. But what draws his attention is the confident look in her eye…the one that tells him (although erroneously) that she is interested in him. He longs to see it in your eyes.

19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. 20 She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy.
She is not just generous, but engages personally with those in need.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
The Proverbs 31 mama thinks ahead. She has a plan for the good days and the bad.

22 She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
And unlike most mamas who only think about their kids wearing the best acceptable clothes, she is keeping herself up in fashion. “What Not to Wear” would never accept her…not because she is extravagant, but regal.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.
When we have children, most moms become known as ___’s mom. They lose their identity. But for a Proverbs 31 mama, her husband is known as ________’s husband.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
This kind of concludes the physical and activity picture. But then the text changes to the more important qualities.

25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future.
Character…inwardly and vision for the future of her family. Let me ask a question: Mom’s, do you have a vision for what God wants your marriage, your children, and your family to be like? Unless you do, you will never achieve it. It does not just happen. But it starts with God building His character in your personal life. Let me encourage you to begin with what God wants your life to be like. When you do, this next verse happens:

26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
Every child goes through some level of rebellious attitude. It starts when they are born. But they will eventually see God’s wisdom that you give them. But remember, that in the same sentence here is ‘kindness’. What amazes me most about my wife is her patience and love even when our kids seem not to listen to sound advice or instruction. I lose way before her.

27 She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31 women do need to take a vacation to renew and refresh. But they are always intentionally striving for the good of their family.

28 Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 29 “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.”
Moms, let me just tell you that this will probably not always happen when you are in need of encouragement. But it will happen if you stick to it.
And this is where the rest of us come in. If we want to encourage our wives and mothers to strive for this ideal, we need to bless them as they make progress…not when they arrive.

30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
But remember this moms. You are not striving for your husbands approval or your children’s love. That is settling way too short of the best. You will do best when you strive for God’s approval. He is the rewarder.

31 Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.
But let me encourage you dads and kids…let mom enjoy the fruit of her labor. Don’t take the last chocolate cookie. Offer it to her first…at least today. It is Mother’s Day for heaven’s sakes.

If you are frustrated by this 3,000 year old ideal, please don’t be. But allow that holy discontent to help you strive first for God Himself…then that will lead you on the foundational steps to being a Proverbs 31 Mama.

The question is: Where are you today on your journey? The first step is your relationship with God. Start there.

Dad, the best gift you could give your wife this morning is to follow Christ…because you will never love her the way God intends without Him loving her through you. And you cannot do that unless you experience Him in your life personally.